My Own Asian Dating Experiences
If you’re interested in finding a Thai bride, then you need to know what you’re letting yourself in for!
So here’s my Asian dating story so far, including:
While I haven’t yet found my dream Asian bride, I’ve had one hell of a time finding her!
And to quote the Kings of Thailand, if your life were a movie, would you pay to see it?
In my case I’m pretty sure the answer is – yes!
I started looking for Asian women to date when I was 37. So I’m not the oldest guy who has ever looked for an Asian bride. This is one thing I learnt pretty damn quickly – you don’t need to be in your 60′s or 70′s to want to find an Asian bride – it’s possible to find an Asian bride at any age.
One day I woke up and realised I wanted a wife. I’d visited Japan a couple of years before, and while I was there I couldn’t fail to notice that the Japanese women were attractive, feminine and had wonderful personalities (at least in public!).
So I started by searching for Japanese dating sites on Google.
My first tentative explorations of Asian dating were to join a Japanese introduction agency. So I took some photos of myself, wrote a bit about my hobbies and interests, and uploaded them to the agency.
Then I waited, and I waited…
While introduction agencies are a good way to meet honest and reliable ladies, they’re often quite slow compared to online dating sites.
Eventually I got tired of waiting to hear if a lady was interested in meeting me, so I looked around for some international dating sites.
The first site I found was foreignladies.com. This site is long established, and newbie men often come across this site when searching online.
One thing that I noticed was that Chinese women looked pretty similar to Japanese women. So I wondered if Chinese women were a better choice for me.
I did a bit more searching, and found a Chinese women dating site called Chnlove. I registered and found I could search for my Chinese bride from over 7000 lovely ladies.
My first impressions of this site were that the women on the site were incredibly beautiful. I mean, seriously, my chances of finding a bride this hot from my own country seemed pretty remote.
So I bought a few credits on this site so I could send emails to one or two women. The downside to Chinese women is that not many speak English. You’ll find much the same with Thai women. Chnlove gets round this by having a Chinese person translate your email into Chinese, then the lady’s response back into English.
So far so good. The downside is that it costs around $5 to send an email to a lady through the site. And you have to pay to read her response! I didn’t realise this at first. So before long my costs were spiraling out of control!
Luckily after a couple of days on Chnlove I spotted her! She was attractive, the right age for me, and at the same time her profile looked a little different from all the other girls on the site.
She spoke some English, and after exchanging a few emails we saw each other on wecam for the first time.
For me it was love at first sight really, and I was soon booking a trip to see her in Chinas. Never mind that she lived in a small city in one of the less wealthy parts of China. Never mind that I spoke no Chinese and hadn’t visited China before. I was a man on a mission!
Look, if you’re serious about finding an Asian bride, then you’ll have to make that journey!
So one afternoon I found myself on an Air China flight from Heathrow to Beijing.
Ten hours later, and I was in Beijing Aiport. If you’ve never travelled to Asia before then you might be stunned at how modern it is. I mean, I know Beijing Airport was extended for the Olympics, but the whole place impressed the hell out of me. God knows it was better than Newark Airport which I’d visited four years previously.
I then had to wait a couple of hours for a connecting flight to another city.
Eventually I arrived there, and managed to avoid all the unofficial taxi touts and got a reasonably priced cab ride to downtown and my hotel. All this without knowing a word of Mandarin Chinese!
So I met my lady and… well, where to begin?
If your life were a movie, would you pay to see it?
Sadly, it never worked out between me and the girl I met. I was heartbroken for a while. But that heartache ended the day I went on a date with an even more beautiful woman! And that’s the thing about Asia – you can always find a more beautiful woman.
If you take one message away from this article, then it has to be this:
Finding an Asian wife is a gigantic learning curve!
But we humans are good at learning – it’s what we do.
I’ve grown more knowledgeable about Asia. I know what to bring girls as a gift from England. I know where to go for a date. I know what food to order. I know the few little tricks that will make them laugh, and the photos to bring that will bring a tear to their eye.
As far as specific lessons learnt, these include:
- Spend as much time in Asia as you possibly can.
- Have a backup lady or two in case the one you’ve visited doesn’t work out.
- Stick to visiting a particular Asian city. Stay in the same hotel. Make friends in that city. Make it a home from home.
- Don’t let women set your agenda. Be alpha, be macho, be a man. It’s what Asian women expect of you anyway!
- Make sure your girlfriend really likes you! Clues to look for include her feeding you and wanting to have an intimate relationship. When you’re apart, if she wants to talk to you at every opportunity then this is also a great sign.
- Have a go at learning the language.
- Don’t use the letter writing dating sites.
- Don’t get into the business of sending money to women.
Make sure you know what type of woman you’re dating. Some want money, some want babies. Some are under parental pressure to get married. Some are just lonely.
Take time to think about what you’re doing! Don’t marry the first girl you meet. Don’t get married on your first visit to Thailand!
Don’t give a shit what anyone thinks about Asian women. It’s your life. Some people are supicious of “mail order brides”. Every time I’ve posted photos of my Asian girlfriend on Facebook, a fat Westerm woman has defriended me! Yet if they met my educated, beautiful and smart Asian girlfriends they would be stunned at how lovely they are.
So what’s it all cost in terms of money?
Any man wanting to find a wife from Thailand (or any other foreign country for that matter) needs to appreciate that this is an expensive process.
So far I’ve travelled to Asian to meet women on five occasions. I did one fortnight in Japan, ten days in Wuhan (China), two fortnights in Guangzhou (China), and another week in Shanghai to meet one of the girls I met on a previous trip.
Flights and hotel packages to Asia aren’t cheap. How many trips YOU need to make is largely down to luck. If I’d have married the first Chinese girl I visited then my wife finding costs would have been pretty modest. But if you don’t get lucky on the first trip then costs can escalate significantly.
Of course, you could marry the first Asian woman you meet, but all I’ll say to this is that each Asian woman I’ve met has been better than the last! There are many, many, fish in Asia!
Dating site costs have been pretty marginal compared to the costs of the trips. I stopped using Chnlove and other pay per contact sites. I now take out an annual subscription to Asian Dating, Thai Love Links, Chinese Love Links or one of the other big dating sites. I also keep an eye on DateInAsia, and this one won’t cost you a penny.
One thing I hadn’t factored into the equation was how emotionally tough it can be to find love in Asia.
Love is a very strong emotion. It clouds your judgement, makes you do foolish things.
I almost lost my job because I was in love with an Asian girl.
And when things go wrong it can seem like the end of the world.
What I’ve learnt is that you need to make sure you can handle the emotional side of finding an Asian partner. Trust me, it’s pretty stressful. To minimise stress:
Don’t look for an Asian wife if the rest of your life is stressful. Don’t do it while you’re moving house, starting a new job, just getting divorced etc.
While you need to love your future Asian wife 100%, always bear in mind that if it doesn’t work out, you can always find another woman. Relationships don’t always work out, and it’s better for everyone that you end a failing relationship sooner than later.
So that’s my Asian dating experience so far. Whether you’re interested in finding a Thai, Chinese or Filipino bride, you’re in for the adventure of a lifetime, and a lifetime of adventure!
Have you started your own Asian dating adventure? Got something to say? Leave your comments below.